Caissene Hawke
"I know enough by now. There's no home for me in Kirkwall. Home is wherever I fit in. Wherever I can have a life, a family I chose. It's not here. And it's not with you." Caissene Vael, formerly Caissene Hawke (born Bloomingtide 29, 9:06 Dragon) is the current Princess of Starkhaven, wife of Prince Sebastian Vael, and erstwhile Champion of Kirkwall, a title she gained for her role in defeating the 9:34 Qunari invasion of the city. Born premature in Ferelden to an apostate and a lady of House Amell, Caissene spent most of her early life on the run with her family in order to escape the notice of the templars, contrary to her wishes to have a normal life. As a result of her unusual family situation, neglect on the part of her parents, and emotional abuse on that of her mother's, Caissene grew up angry and resentful, and her relationships with her family were uniformly acrimonious. At the outset of the Fifth Blight, she led her family to Kirkwall, where she spent the next seven years both rising to power and suffering many losses. Though normally a committed supporter of the templars, Caissene refused to aid them in the Battle of the Gallows, not wishing to annul the Circle for the crime committed by one man, and she and her associates subsequently fled Kirkwall. Over the next few years, Caissene remained at the side of her future husband, who she had met in Kirkwall. They eventually married and had their first children while Sebastian was attempting to reclaim his throne, which had been stolen from his family in the coup of 9:31 Dragon. In 9:40 Dragon, their efforts at last met with success, and they were subsequently crowned Prince and Princess of Starkhaven. The two have since become known for being practical, kind rulers, notably to their elven subjects as well as the humans, and their popularity has grown over the years. Overview Basic Information Full Name: Caissene Vael née Hawke Nickname(s): Caiss (/kosh/, Carver) Alias(es): None Occupation: Princess of Starkhaven, Champion of Kirkwall (formerly) Age: 38 as of Haring, 9:44 Dragon Date of Birth: Bloomingtide 29, 9:06 Dragon Nationality: Fereldan Orientation: Bisexual Libido: High Religion: Andrastianism Threat Level: 4/10. Caissene is too slimly built and physically weak to last long in a real combat situation, and she is at best an adequate fighter by the end of the game; at the start, she is simply mediocre. As a result of her poor constitution and general weakness, she has to resort to other strategies to keep herself alive in a fight, such as evading her enemies, keeping them distracted and focused on her companions, striking from stealth, flanking them, and escaping before they can retaliate. These are decent strategies assuming she has the element of surprise, but if she does not, then Caissene tends to find herself out of her element. Eventually, she does get better, but she never gets strong enough to be a viable front-line fighter, and for her, every fight is a battle for survival above all else. World State: Playthrough 2 ('Elf') Physical Information Face Claim: Laura Frances Morgan Height: 5'1" / 1.55 m Eye Colour: Green and brown Hair Colour + Style: Black, shoulder-length, straight, messily cut, long fringe Dominant Hand: Left Body Type: Skinny Distinguishing Features: Heterochromia, height (or lack thereof) Accent + Intensity: Fereldan, moderate Tattoo(s): Numerous ones on her face and neck Scar(s): A small collection over her arms, legs, and chest, a result of the fights she's got into over the years; mild smallpox scarring after Act 2 Piercing(s): None Glasses? No, though her vision is bad enough that she would have them if they existed. Background Information Hometown: Stoneleigh, Highever Current Residence: Kirkwall Language(s): Common Social Class: Lower class pre-Act 2, nobility from Act 2 onwards Education: Homeschooled by her parents, trained in the use of daggers by Malcolm and taught subjects such as history and how to read and write by both Malcolm and Leandra. Taught basic homemaking skills and the basics of singing, music, and dancing by Leandra. Learnt theology and religion largely through reading the Chant of Light, Chantry histories, and visiting the chantries in the various places she stayed in. Family: See below Romanced: Sebastian Vael Pet(s): Ciaran, mabari war hound, given to her as a puppy when she was 13, killed when the estate is levelled by the chantry explosion Adopted? No Rap Sheet: None Prison Time: None Personality Information MBTI/Jung Type: ESTP "Entrepreneur" Archetype: The Everyman and the Explorer Enneagram: Challenger Moral Alignment: Chaotic Neutral initially, eventually Neutral Good Temperament: Choleric Angered By: Impositions on her freedom, parental favouritism, everything to do with her family, compliments, dishonesty, blame being unjustly assigned, people giving up everything for an idealised romance that can't live up to reality, Bethany's popularity with the party, being compared to Bethany, being told that she must protect Bethany, Bethany in general, Leandra's self-absorption and laziness, Leandra in general, any suggestion that her behaviour is wrong, her companions stealing her kills, and much, much more. Intelligence Type: Bodily-kinaesthetic Neurodivergence(s): Oppositional defiant disorder (as a child and adolescent) At Risk: Her incredibly volatile temper, self-absorption, bitterness, almost astonishing problems with envy and resentment, and generally obnoxious behaviour put her at risk of destroying the first friendships she's ever made in her life, and indeed, they ruin any chance she has of being friends with everyone bar Fenris, Isabela, and Sebastian. Her problems with psychological projection and emotional stuntedness have long since wrecked her chances of having a good relationship with Carver despite their similarities, and the former also leads her to unconsciously see all mages as Bethany and thus treat them harshly. Her resentment and abusive behaviour have also utterly destroyed her relationship with Bethany and leave her at serious risk of becoming the last person in the world she wants to be: her mother. Vices and Habits Smokes? No Drinks? Yes, very regularly Drugs? Yes, occasionally Violent? Extremely so Addictions? None Self-Destructive? Yes; part of the reason why she makes no real effort to change for a long time despite knowing her behaviour is wrong is because she believes no one will ever truly love her. Thus she lashes out and drives people away to spare herself the disappointment and pain of getting her hopes up then having them crushed, even though she wants little more than to truly be loved. This, of course, creates a vicious cycle that she takes years to break out of. Habit(s): Swearing (often inventively and blasphemously), losing her temper at the slightest provocation, scowling or snarling, dissociation (often during fights), compulsively putting her family first despite her resentment of them, insulting people (herself included) with no provocation, reading people to see what they think of her, brushing off compliments as disingenuous and manipulative Hobbies: Training and sparring with her friends/associates, drinking, gambling, whoring, thievery, rebelling against Leandra, meditation (after Sebastian suggests it) Likes: Being away from her family, pissing off Leandra and Bethany, having the freedom to do what she wants, no longer being chained to her family (after Acts 1 and 2), fennec foxes, whiskey, Darktown, a challenge, competitions, seeing how people react to her profanities, yellow Dislikes: Magic and mages, herself, Kirkwall, her entire family bar Carver and Gamlen, everything about her life prior to Bethany and Leandra's deaths, idealised romances, people who think themselves above the law, anything that forces people into predetermined roles, trigger-happy nobles Tic(s): None Obsession(s): None, but her pathological fear of losing her freedom, desperation for a normal life, and resentment of her family, especially Bethany, could count. Compulsion(s): None Miscellaneous Information House: Slytherin / Pukwudgie Zodiac: Belenas Vice: Envy / Wrath Virtue: Humility Element: Air Mythological Creature: Dragon Animal: Tiger Mutation: None Biography History Born eleven weeks premature, only a month after her parents' arrival in Ferelden and well before they were ready to be parents, Caissene was a sickly, mewling baby who was lucky to survive her first year. She was too stubborn and fierce to die, however, and even as an infant, she clung onto life and pushed through every ailment that troubled her, from her underdeveloped lungs, breathing problems, and poor sight through to her many illnesses. She was not, however, the easiest child to raise, and while her father could handle her just fine, her mother could not. Unconsciously, Leandra began to resent her daughter for being such a difficult child and for spoiling her fantasy of a fairy tale romance with Malcolm, and while this wasn't so much of a problem when Caissene was a baby, it would eventually turn into a serious one. Growing up, Caissene was not particularly happy with her lot. Due to her frail constitution and Malcolm's status as an apostate, she was raised in isolation from the beginning, but even though she knew nothing else, this never suited her. In the many villages she and her family stayed in, she would watch the other children play with their friends, see how they didn't have to hide, observe their comparatively normal lives, and she would be filled with a terrible envy. Seeking an outlet for this, Caissene chose to blame her father, towards whom she quickly developed quite the grudge (much to his utter bewilderment, as she wasn't even out of the single digits yet). Her relationship with her mother was not much better, as Leandra's unconscious resentment of her had bled over into how she acted towards her daughter, and Caissene picked up on this. Her self-esteem subsequently tanked, and when Bethany and Carver were born and took all the attention away from her, she did not handle it well. Still, for the most part, she managed to keep her complaints to herself, and the assumption that she would one day be free was of much comfort to her, and although she was not well-suited to being an elder sibling, she did manage to develop and maintain tolerable relationships with Bethany and Carver—at least until Bethany's magic manifested. Unfortunately, this event would precipitate a serious shift in the family's dynamic that resulted in Bethany receiving the lion's share of the attention while Caissene and Carver went increasingly neglected. In addition, Caissene was placed under more pressure than ever to look after her siblings despite still spending half her time in bed with sickness, and unconsciously or not, Leandra picked up a habit of comparing to her Bethany, who was the younger, prettier, purer, easier child she'd been prepared to have. As a consequence of all this, Caissene developed a massive inferiority complex and a deep grudge towards her sister, which she dealt with by lashing out at Bethany at every available opportunity, and as she got older, she became extremely rebellious, engaging in any number of petty crimes and often acting out in ways that could have exposed the family to the templars. More than ever, she longed for a normal life, and the more it was denied her, the more she grew to resent her parents, her sister, and magic and mages as a whole. In this time, Carver was the only one who Caissene was at all close to—and even this did not last forever. In 9:27 Dragon, Malcolm died following a long illness, forcing Caissene to assume the role of head of the family with extremely bad grace. This was the last thing in the world she wanted, as she felt it would bind her to her family forever, but Carver began to resent her for it and for seemingly having more of a purpose nevertheless. Subsequently, their relationship began to crumble, as Caissene saw too much of herself in Carver, despised it, and did not have the emotional tools to help Carver overcome his grudge. As a result, she was left more or less alone within her family, perpetually furious at her entrapment but unable to find a way out until Carver suggested they join the army a few years later. Though reluctant to do so due to her poor health, Caissene ultimately agreed in order to get away from Bethany and Leandra—and indeed, the taste of freedom she received in the early days at Ostagar was enough to make her want to remain a soldier if it got her a semi-normal life. But in the end, things didn't work out that way, and Caissene was forced to once again return to her family and to the virtual prison she so desperately wanted to escape so that she could have her own life. Whether it would be worth it in the end, she would never quite know. In-game Act One Act Two Act Three Companions Afterwards Though Caissene never found a home in Kirkwall, even despite all her experiences there, still her seven years in the city were life-changing for her, in ways that were both good and bad. On the one hand, Caissene finally got free of her family, but in a way she'd never wanted, losing everyone save for Gamlen to various horrible deaths. This left Caissene with a multitude of regrets, mainly for how badly she had treated Bethany, how horrible a person she had become because of her resentment and envy, the fact that she didn't have a mother worth mourning, her not being able to save Leandra or Bethany, and so on. Additionally, though these regrets made Caissene want to become a better person, for many years, she lacked the emotional tools and purpose required to do so. On the other hand, in Kirkwall, Caissene found family with her uncle and made new friends among her associates—some of them, anyway—and in the end, her chance to develop finally arrived in the form of Sebastian. Recognising so much of himself in her, Sebastian took it upon himself to help Caissene find the peace and purpose he had found in the Chantry, and though it took years of effort, Caissene eventually grew to no longer be so abrasive, short-tempered, or dominated by her hatred. In Sebastian, she found something like salvation, and in time, she also found love. Consequently, after they fled Kirkwall, Sebastian was the one who remained by her side the longest. It would be equally accurate to say that she remained by his side, however. When Sebastian resumed his fight to retake his throne, he offered Caissene the chance to leave and seek out the normal life she'd always desired elsewhere, knowing the life of a Princess would not be normal. Caissene, however, refused him, saying she belonged with him. They subsequently entered a proper marriage, and within the next few years, Caissene had given birth to their first children, the twins Malise and Ilene, a boy and a girl, in whom she found redemption and a chance to truly start over. The next year, Sebastian managed to retake his throne, and after they were crowned Prince and Princess, Caissene did her best to settle into her new life, with the family she'd always wanted. It was not easy, but by now, Caissene was determined to do anything for her husband and her children, and so just as in Kirkwall, she struggled through all the difficulties. By the time Varric asked her to come aid the Inquisition, things were finally starting to settle down. Although Caissene was not keen on leaving her new family to potentially get herself killed in service of the Inquisition, and Sebastian was even less, she ultimately decided to go in order to help put right the mistake she'd made—a chance she would not get with so many of her other errors. As with so much else, the experience would turn out to be so much more than she could ever have imagined, and Caissene was ultimately left severely disillusioned with the Wardens and even less keen on magic than she already was, to the extent that she became seriously worried what would happen if one of her children turned out to be a mage. After leaving the Fade, Caissene reluctantly departed for Weisshaupt to tell the Wardens what had happened, but what had been intended as a brief journey eventually turned into a two-year stay that saw her get caught up in the Wardens' internecine conflict. Luckily, as things seriously started to deteriorate, Caissene finally managed to escape, and after warning as many people as she could about what was going on, she at last returned to Starkhaven. There she intends to stay, with the family she and Sebastian are adding to—the family and life she'd always wanted and will die before she loses. Relationships * Anders: Caissene and Anders have an intensely acrimonious relationship due to the many incompatibilities (and, paradoxically, similarities) in their personalities and their diametrically opposed opinions on mage rights. For Caissene’s part, she is wary of Anders from the beginning due to him being an abomination who openly resents the Circle, and the fact that he calls her a 'little girl’ when they first meet causes him to come off as a condescending ass, and thus leads her to dislike him almost straight away. As the years pass, she finds Anders increasingly obnoxious and hypocritical—traits that she also sees in herself and despises for this reason—and she particularly detests how he treats the other members of the party, even Merrill, though Caissene herself is not much better. Things ultimately get to the point where she only keeps him around because she needs his talents as a healer and doesn’t trust him to be left unmonitored for any extended period of time without some manner of disaster occurring, and Anders naturally chafes at this. The more Justice overtakes Anders, the worse their relationship becomes, and even Caissene’s development as a person and increasing doubts about the templars are not enough to salvage it. * Aveline: Though they work together for many years, Caissene and Aveline are never friendly, and even a few moments of sympathy and mutual understanding and Caissene’s gradual improvement as a person are not enough to undo the damage that has already been done to their relationship. Largely, the difficulties arise from their incompatible personalities, Caissene being wild, selfish, lawless, and a natural contrarian (to say nothing of her belligerence and unnecessarily hostile behaviour) where Aveline is lawful, dutiful, reliable, and a protector. For most of their time in Kirkwall, they are quite distant from each other and never really manage to connect, not even over Ostagar or having to put family members out of their misery, but their relationship really begins to go downhill near the end of Act II, thanks to Caissene’s refusal to help Aveline with Donnic, Aveline’s mishandling of the investigation into the serial killer and of the elven viddathari, and Aveline’s refusal to admit to her mistakes. Subsequently, even though Caissene is finally improving as a person, their relationship remains quite hostile, and they stick together only out of habit. Likely after a certain point, things between them are beyond all hope of repair. * Bethany: Caissene and Bethany have a truly dreadful relationship that can also be described in no uncertain terms as abusive on Caissene’s end. A lifetime of being neglected by her parents in favour of Bethany and of being compared negatively to Bethany by Leandra has left Caissene with a deep feeling of inferiority in almost every respect towards Bethany, and a combination of this and Bethany’s magic robbing her of the chance to have a normal life have left her with a deep grudge and even more resentment than Carver held towards her. Emotionally stunted as she is, Caissene deals with these issues by constantly lashing out at Bethany and reminding her of how her magic ruined Caissene’s life and how much she hates her for it, and when she’s not doing that, she prefers to avoid Bethany and not speak to her whenever possible. Suffice it to say, this has not done wonders for Bethany’s self-esteem, and she too prefers to avoid and not speak to Caissene if she can. She loves Caissene, despite everything, but she’s long since given up on them ever having a real sisterly relationship. Indeed, by the time of Act I, their relationship is beyond hope of repair, and Caissene doesn’t come to regret this until after Bethany dies. * Fenris: Caissene and Fenris’ friendship is mainly built on a few commonalities between them, namely their resentment/hatred of magic and their lack of concern and skill for social norms. In the early days, this allows them to commiserate to some extent, to go on about magic and mages as much as they like without checking themselves, and to speak freely with each other, largely unconcerned that the other will take offence to what they say. Even as the years go on and they start improving on a personal level, this always remains the case, and for Caissene, Fenris becomes not only one of the only friends she’s ever had but also the friend with whom she feels most comfortable venting her anger and speaking her mind. They don’t always agree with each other, of course, nor is Fenris always capable of tolerating Caissene’s obnoxiousness, and her solution to the Qunari crisis causes a rift between them even though Fenris will concede that there were no viable alternatives, but they do become genuinely close, and they both take comfort in the fact that no matter what happens, they’ve always got each other’s back. Once Caissene helps Fenris deal with Danarius, the rift between them is sealed for good, and subsequently, they become each other’s closest friend, something for which the both of them will always be grateful. * Isabela: Caissene and Isabela get along very well and have the closest to what can be called a conventional friendship out of all of Caissene’s relationships with her companions due to the similarities between them, namely their lawlessness, selfishness, wild behaviour, and strong regard for personal freedom. Though they know little about each other’s personal lives or issues, their similarities still allow them to come together and stand in solidarity to some extent, even if their friendship is based more on reinforcing the other’s behaviour rather than striving to improve it. To outsiders, and to some of their companions, their friendship might seem rather toxic, but for Caissene, who’s never really had friends before, her connection with Isabela, and Isabela’s willingness to tolerate her bad behaviour and numerous flaws (most of the time), are quite meaningful to her. Although Caissene doesn’t get as close to Isabela as she does to Fenris and Sebastian, still the friendship matters enough to her that she is quite hurt when Isabela runs off with the tome and filled with profound regret when she later gives her to the Arishok. Indeed, the regret is deep enough that it will become one of the biggest of her life, though Caissene knows there was nothing else she could have done. * Merrill: Caissene and Merrill have a very acrimonious relationship, and it’s yet another one where too much has happened for Caissene’s improvement as a person to undo the damage already done. On Caissene’s end, she finds Merrill’s kookiness, tendency to get lost, and lack of common sense or real life experience to be tiring, and she also resents her a great deal for reminding her of Bethany—after all, like Bethany, Merrill is pretty, pure, precious, popular with the party, and apparently perfect, and Caissene feels painfully inadequate next to her, which causes her to lash out just as she did with Bethany. Merrill’s use of blood magic and stubborn, foolish (according to Caissene) insistence on pursuing her course despite everyone telling her to stop are only the icing on the cake, or the straws that break the camel’s back. Merrill, meanwhile, strongly dislikes Caissene for her resentful attitude, distrust of apostates and blood mages, and latent racism, and after denying her the arulin'holm, for treating her like a child and thinking she knows better than Merrill about an artefact important to Merrill’s people. As such, the two tend to argue very frequently whenever they’re alone, and they generally avoid and don’t talk to each other when in the company of their friends, and this suits them both just fine. While the hostility finally begins to die down after Merrill shatters the eluvian, they remain distant and never really like each other. * Sebastian: Caissene and Sebastian have a very 'birds of a feather’ sort of relationship, one founded on the surprising number of similarities between the pair—similarities such as their faith, their resentment of their families, their hot-blooded personalities, their wild (or formerly wild, in Sebastian’s case) behaviour, and so on and so forth. These similarities and the other parallels between them allow them to understand each other better than anyone else in the party, and this is the main reason why they end up becoming so close. Even more than their similarities, however, much of their relationship is founded on the desire to see the other become better; this is less pronounced in Caissene’s case, as she only wants Sebastian to become more decisive and to find what will make him happy, but is the primary reason for Sebastian stubbornly pursuing Caissene. In short, mutual understanding, respect, and empathy are at the core of their relationship, and this is what makes it one of the healthiest that Caissene has ever had—healthy enough, indeed, to be life-changing. * Varric: The relationship between Varric and Caissene is another one that is never really friendly, though they work together for many years and eventually manage to develop some respect for each other. Just as with Aveline, Caissene’s eventual growth as a person is simply not enough to undo the damage that her prior behaviour did to their relationship, and just as with Aveline, the difficulties mainly arise from their incompatible personalities. Varric is, after all, a smooth-talking, silver-tongued charmer who prefers the use of diplomacy, sarcasm, and even some blackmail, and secretly appreciates those who look out for their families, while Caissene is a thug who’s all too quick to resort to violence, has an extremely foul mouth, tends to phrase everything in the bluntest ways possible, and openly resents her family. Because of all this, they are quite distant from each other throughout their years in Kirkwall, and Caissene’s insistence on killing Bartrand even after Anders temporarily heals him, belief that Varric needs to let go of his guilt for Bethany’s death, and Varric’s poor treatment of Sebastian for not being 'interesting’ enough do nothing to help their relationship. They eventually come to respect each other, but that is about it. Family * Malcolm Hawke (father, apostate mage, died of illness in 9:27 Dragon) * Leandra Amell (mother, Lady of Kirkwall, killed by a blood mage in 9:34 Dragon) * Carver Hawke (brother, soldier, killed by an ogre at the outset of the Fifth Blight) * Bethany Hawke (sister, apostate mage, died of the taint in the Deep Roads in 9:31 Dragon) * Aristide Amell (m. grandfather, Lord of Kirkwall, died of cholera in 9:11 Dragon) * Bethann Walker (m. grandmother, Lady of Kirkwall, died of cholera in 9:11 Dragon) * Gamlen Amell (m. uncle) * Charade Amell (cousin, Friend of Red Jenny) Quotes "I feel so much better Now that you're gone forever. I tell myself that I don't miss you at all. I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now That you're gone forever." — Three Days Grace, Gone Forever * (to Lirene) "I wouldn't worry so much about his safety. Worry about yours." * (to Anders during Talk to Anders) "You mages impede our freedom by your existence. Bring danger and jeopardy and place unneeded burdens on us just by being around us. If the Circle is the only way to keep you from harming us, from impeding our freedom, then I say, lock the mages up. Better the rights of the few be lost than the lives and freedom of the many." * (to Isabela during Fools Rush In) "What tits and ass? Or are you talking about my sister?" * (to Bethany after Birthright) "Mother's parents sound like stuck-up cunts. Who gives a fuck what they thought?" * (to Gamlen after Birthright) "That sounds familiar. Bethany was Mother and Father's beauty, the light of their lives. Had them wrapped around her little finger, too. I bet they wish they'd had her first, and only her. Wish they'd admit it. It'd be better than putting up with this pretence that they loved us all equally." * (to Leandra) "This is our lot for now. Maybe you should try to improve it instead of fucking bitching about it, but that would require you to do more than wail and point fingers, wouldn't it?" * (to Aden during Finders Keepers) "They say your life flashes in front of your eyes before you die. Any helpful flashes yet?" * (to Ciaran) "You're a killer. Quite prouncing around like some Orlesian bitch." * (to Sebastian during Repentance) "It's the wisdom not to want power that lets you use it wisely. And don't expect to hear any philosophy like that out of my mouth ever again." * (to Varric during An Update) "Something tells me Bethany would have died anyway, Varric. You should worry more about what he did to us. For that, I say it's about time we paid Bartrand back." * (to Merrill at the end of Back from Sundermount) "Bury your head in the sand all you fucking like, Merrill. It won't change the consequences." * (while speaking to Fenris after Demands of the Qun) "I couldn't throw our lives away, not for that. I didn't want to hand her over, Fenris. She was my friend, one of the few I've ever had. But I couldn't throw my life or your life or any of our lives away for a vain attempt to keep from slavery the woman whose selfishness led to the deaths of hundreds. To save the city? Perhaps. But not one person." * (to Meredith at the end of On the Loose) "I don't like magic or mages either, but the blame for nearly everything these mages did can be laid at your feet. Look at the way you treat them. Is it any wonder they're so desperate?" * (to the Nightmare during Here Lies the Abyss) "The Hawkes always thought I was a fucking failure, you piece of cunting shit! Their deaths were bad luck, no failures of mine, and so was Kirkwall! Nothing I could have done could have changed that… and that sets me free. 'Sides, I have a new family, a family I chose, and they don't think I failed. Anything to say to that?" Dialogue (after Carver's death) * Leandra: Don't lecture me! This is your fault! How could you let him charge off like that? Your little brother! My little boy! * Caissene: Oh, go fuck yourself, Mother! * Bethany: Caissene, please... * Caissene: If you want to blame anyone, blame Carver! He charged off without calling for backup! He tried to take the fucking ogre head-fucking-on even though he saw them at fucking Ostagar and knew what they can do! Big fucking surprise that this happened! You've got no one to blame for this but him, and he's got no one to blame but himself! And before you start shrieking that I should have stopped him, I was fucking surrounded by hurlocks and halfway across the field from him! So fuck off, Mother! Don't spit your blame where it doesn't fucking belong! * Bethany: Caissene! Please! * Aveline: He's your brother. How can you speak of him in this way? * Caissene: I have no pity for idiots. Even less for the useless fucking old bitches that they give their lives to defend. At least Carver could contribute something other than standing around, wailing, and pointing fingers when things go wrong. Fucking ridiculous. What did he die for, anyway? * Wesley: If this is how you feel about your own family, then I am very sorry for you. * Caissene: That's no business of yours, templar. But I didn't ask to be stuck with the job of harbouring an oh-so-helpless, oh-so-innocent, and oh-so-''lovable'' apostate and looking after my useless fucking mother for the whole of my life. ─────── (after meeting with Bartrand) * Bethany: What are we supposed to do now? We've got nothing to stop the next person who tries to sell us out. This expedition was our last chance… * Caissene: I can't spend my whole fucking life looking over my shoulder for fucking templars, Bethany! * Bethany: If the templars find me, the best I can hope is to be locked away for the rest of my life! If they don't kill me outright! * Caissene: And whose fucking fault is that? Mother and Father's idiocy shouldn't be my mess to fix! ─────── (after Birthright) * Bethany: Did you think I don't know? How often we had to move because 'the templars were coming'? I know how much you all sacrificed to protect me. But we're at the end of the line now. There's nowhere left to run. And there's something almost comforting in that. * Caissene: Oh, so you know, then, do you? Fucking wonderful! Makes me wonder why Mother and Father worked so hard to keep you from the Circle. Would it have been so shitty, so fucking bad? * Bethany: I guess at first… I was just a little girl. They didn't want to lose me. And once I had learnt anything… what would the templars do to an active apostate, not just a mage-blood child? It changed their lives, your life, Carver's. All because of who I am. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been so bad to be with my own kind, to serve the Chantry as Andraste demands. * Caissene: It certainly would have been better for the rest of us! Your magic, it didn't just change our lives, it ruined them! All I could have had—friends, a trade, a normal life. Gone. All for the sake of you. Everything for you. Who gave a shit what Carver and I thought? What we needed? Who cared that we had no friends, that we knew no one outside the family? Who cared that we lived in constant fear? Who cared that I spent half my life stuck in bed, sick, and Carver was the only one who bothered to visit on a regular basis? Who cared that I spent whole days on my own, that I had to clean up my own vomit, had to piss and shit the bed because Mother couldn't be bothered to come help me to the lavatory and Father was just too tired from dealing with you? That I had to then clean up my own piss and shit even when I was half-delirious from fever?! Who cared? Not Mother, not Father. All they cared about was you. And you never did shit to change that! But it doesn't matter. No one will ever give a shit about me. Mother taught me that. So let me ask: are you unhappy here? ─────── (during Portrait of the Past) * Bethany: I know she loved Father, the man that he was. I guess… I just wonder if she'd have been happier if he hadn't been a mage. If I wasn't a mage. I know that made it hard for Mother. It's nice to have a reminder of a time when she still knew how to smile. * Caissene: I ruined it for her, Bethany. Not you. I came out eleven weeks early, and she found herself stuck in a land she didn't know, with a man she'd run away with on a whim and a sickly, mewling baby that needed constant care. Rather took the bloom off the rose, I did. She was just as miserable when you were small, Bethany, before your magic came in, and it's all because of me. * Bethany: What? How do you know that? * Caissene: The bitch never let me forget it. ─────── (while arguing with Leandra before the Deep Roads expedition) * Caissene: You do realise she's not the only one going into danger, you stupid fucking bitch? You do realise I'm risking my arse to get you the fucking coin you haven't put in the slightest bit of fucking effort to achieve? But I guess that's just fucking fine, isn't it, since I'm not precious, pure, perfect, fucking Bethany! I can just fucking die for all you care! * Bethany: Caissene— * Caissene: No! If we're not coming back, she needs to know this! We're doing this for you, Mother, but as far as I'm concerned, you don't deserve a bit of it! But if you get that coin anyway… I hope you choke on it! I hope you take it and shove it up your arse! Better yet, shove it up your dried-up cunt like Father used to, then fucking push more out! Seems like the only way you'll ever fucking make any coin! And if Bethany doesn't come back, but I do, leaving you deprived of your preferred child, I hope that money gives you no comfort whatsoever! Maker knows you haven't earned it, you wankstain fucking piece of shit whose only talents are leeching off of better men and pushing things out her cunt and who has no right to call herself a mother! ─────── (final conversation with Bethany) * Bethany: You'll take care of it, won't you, sis? * Caissene: I'll make it quick. * Bethany: And that's what I love about you. I do. Even after… everything. It's just you now. Take care of Mother. * Caissene: I can't promise that. I can't promise anything. Not a damn thing. * Bethany: Then, can you tell me… what you feel? Must be nice, finally getting free of me, for good… * Caissene: I… can't say anything. I don't know how to. I–I didn't want… But… No, I can't say it. Don't know… how to say it. Don't even know what it is. * Bethany: Stubborn as ever. I suppose I understand. But Caissene… do you hate me? * Caissene: I don't know what I feel. Now. Does that make it better or worse? * Bethany: I don't know. But I'll choose to believe I'm not dying hated. * Caissene: Believe it, if it makes you feel better. I can't do anything else now. No more time. Say hello to Carver for me, will you? * Bethany: I will. Thanks. And sister, I… I hope you get to live. Like you always wanted. Now that… * Caissene: … Thanks. ─────── (with Sebastian in the estate) * Sebastian: Your hound is a mark of nobility in Ferelden, is he not? I have heard that gaining a mabari's loyalty is considered the ultimate proof of character there. * Caissene: In theory. I'm proof that that's not always the case… * Sebastian: Are you? Somehow I doubt that. * Caissene: Oh, don't be disingenuous. * Sebastian: Who says I am? Maybe I mean it. * Caissene: Then that's very… kind of you to say. ─────── (with Gamlen at the end of All That Remains) * Gamlen: Maybe the templars are right. Lock the mages up! Throw away the key! * Caissene: Mages have always been trouble. They will always be trouble. * Gamlen: Magic's always run in this family. It's a curse. Now even your mother's fallen victim to it. * Caissene: After running off with an apostate and giving fucking everything to protect her favourite apostate daughter, who died anyway. Oh, the irony. ─────── (while meetingTallis) * Caissene: What makes you think I steal things just because people ask me to? * Aveline: Says the former smuggler. * Caissene: Touché. But I'm not doing that anymore! * Sebastian: I would hope not! 'See Also' Reddit * Family dinner and words she lives by * Words on her gravestone in the Fade and face claim * Sexuality and tropes * Broken family * Developing relationships with companions and non-canon flirtations * Putting herself first, spite, and thoughts about her old life * An argument, and reconciliation * Journey theme and first kill * Relationship with LI and expressing affection Non-Reddit * Tumblr Wiki page * Tumblr tag * Character Sheet * Hero of Thedas * The Hawke Questionnaire: Or, Why Did I Do This to Myself Oh God, Pt. 1 * The Hawke Questionnaire: Or, Why Did I Do This to Myself Oh God, Pt. 2 * The Hawke Questionnaire: Or, Why Did I Do This to Myself Oh God, Pt. 3 AO3 * No Alternatives * Pitiless Gallery Gallery 1.png|Caissene with Leandra Gallery 2.png|Caissene rescuing Feynriel from the slavers Gallery 3.png|Caissene's final moments with Bethany Gallery 4.png|Caissene telling Leandra the bad news Gallery 5.png|Caissene speaking with Viscount Dumar Gallery 6.png|Caissene speaking with Fenris Gallery 7.png|Caissene confronting Gascard DuPuis Gallery 8.png|Caissene with Gamlen after Leandra's death Gallery 9.png|Caissene 'killing' Corypheus Gallery 10.png|Caissene watching Isabela get hauled off Gallery 11.png|Caissene with Sebastian before his proposal Gallery 12.png|A rare smile Gallery 13.png|Caissene at Chateau Haine Gallery 14.png|Caissene in the Retreat Gallery 15.png|Caissene meeting King Alistair Gallery 16.png|Caissene speaking to her companions before the final battle Gallery 17.png|Final confrontation with Meredith Gallery 18.png|Caissene at Skyhold Gallery 19.png|Caissene meeting with Stroud Gallery 20.png|Caissene at Adamant Fortress Gallery 21.png|Caissene in the Fade Category:Hawke Category:Human Category:Rogue Category:Shadow Category:Sebastian Romance Category:Eclipse3000